Social Schizophrenia

(i write stuff)

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Fictionland: Team Mystery
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Title: The Lesser Pygmy Puff
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Neville/Luna
Prompt: Stargazing

“And that one’s the Lesser Puffskein.”

“Luna, I’m not sure that’s what – ”

“Oh no, it’s not what’s in the book,” said Luna dismissively. “That’s its real name. What it likes to be called.”

“The constellation likes to be called the Lesser Pygmy Puff?”

“Puffskein.”

“Right.”

They were at the top of the astronomy tower, gazing up at the stars, which looked more brilliant than Neville had ever seen.

“And if you’re born when Mars is friendly with the Lesser Puffskein, then you’ll have extra-long eyebrows?” he hazarded.

Luna laughed, and rolled over on her side to look at him. “The stars don’t care about all that,” she said. “They just… are.”

Her unusual grey eyes held his gaze, and Neville found that he didn’t know what to say. For a heartbeat, they remained like that, the stars forgotten.

“Pity,” Neville said at last, in a voice which was higher than usual. “I’ve, um, always wanted extra-long eyebrows.”

He was glad it was too dark for her to see his face.

***

Title: Petsitting
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Trio
Prompt: Phoenix

“The book says that phoenixes at the beginning of their life cycle need a constant supply of warm milk and phoenix kibble,” said Hermione, not looking up from the large, dusty volume.

Harry scratched his head, looking at the ugly bird which sat in the ashes under its perch.

“After a few days, it should be able to hunt for itself,” read Hermione. “But until then… Ron, you’d better measure out the food. Harry, did you check the temperature of the milk?”

Harry nodded. “I still can’t believe he left us to do this.”

“You forget that this is the same man who thought it was appropriate to let 11-year-olds fight the darkest wizard the world has ever known,” Hermione observed.

“Good point,” said Ron. “Does this look like half a cup to you?”

***

Title: Brotherly Advice
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Twins
Prompt: Not allowed

“You’re being stupid,” said George, clapping his twin on the shoulder. “There, that’s my brotherly advice.”

“Thanks, you’re the best,” said Fred, rolling his eyes.

“I know,” said George. He picked up a Canary Cream and prodded it with his wand.

“But – ”

“Don’t,” George cut him off. “Please. If I have to listen to my own brother saying anything even remotely soppy about a girl who, although arguably attractive, is a stickler for rules who makes Percy look like, well, us, then I will eat this Canary Cream and fly away.”

“Yeah, but – ”

George lifted the biscuit to his mouth.

“Fine,” said Fred. “You win. You know, if we could actually get these to make people fly, that would be amazing!”

“There’s the partner in crime I know!” said George. “Hermione Granger. Honestly.

***

Title: After the Kiss
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Hermione and Ron
Prompt: Kiss

“Hermione!”

Hermione froze, recognising the voice at once. It was too late to duck into Madam Malkin’s, so, steeling herself, she turned to face the speaker.

“Ron!” she said. “What a surprise!”

“Yeah,” said Ron. “I mean, I haven’t seen you since…” He looked awkward. Hermione was sure she looked just as uncomfortable. Truth be told, she’d been avoiding him. She was sure he’d been avoiding her too.

“Maybe we should have coffee,” she said.

They had ice cream instead, sitting in the sun outside Florean Fortescue’s ice cream parlour.

“Look,” Hermione began. “I don’t know how to say this, but… ” She took a deep breath. “It’s just that… I mean, I like you, obviously… You’re one of my best friends. But when we – in the – well, to be honest, I was just sort of hyped up by the battle, and I got really excited about house elf rights and Gamp’s Law, and – ”

“Hermione – ”

“And I never meant to lead you on, because I value our friendship,” Hermione pressed on, ignoring the interruption, determined to get through the speech she had been preparing for weeks. “So I’m sorry – ”

“Hermione – ”

“– if I’ve misled you in any way, and I hope this won’t affect our friendship.”

The formalities concluded, she met his eye, not sure what she would see there.

“Can I speak now?” said Ron. To Hermione’s surprise, he was grinning.

“Yes?” she said.

“Totally get it,” said Ron. “It was super awkward. Never gonna happen. We’re bros. Let’s keep it that way.”

Hermione didn’t know whether to be more relieved or offended.

***

Title: Invisible Hat
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Neville/Luna
Prompt: Time

“You look… very nice,” he said, wishing he could think of something more eloquent to say. After all this time, he should have been able to do better.

“So do you,” said Luna, smiling at him. “I like your hat.”

“Um, thanks,” said Neville, feeling a little dazed. All he’d wanted was to pick up a few books before the new school year. He hadn’t expected to see her in Flourish and Blotts. As a result, it took him a while to process her response. “I’m not wearing a hat,” he said, when her words at last caught up with him.

“I assumed you’d made an invisible one. You know, for subtlety.”

Neville laughed. “I… yes, you’re right,” he said. “Well spotted. Want to get a cup of tea?”

***

Title: Photograph
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – George
Prompt: Old photograph

They all beamed up from the photograph, waving like mad. They looked more freckled that usual, and there was Percy, with that stupid Head Boy badge he’d insisted on wearing the whole holiday. And Ron with that old rat on his shoulder… And there he was. Fred, waving like the rest of them, with no idea what lay ahead. George wanted to yell at him, somehow shout a warning to this captive image, this false Fred from so many years ago who still smiled and moved and laughed. George put the photo down. He didn’t think it would ever hurt less.

***

Title: Good-looking Potato
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Lily and Snape
Prompt: Tea

“I told you not to take Divination.”

“Ok, ok, you were right,” said Lily, holding up her hands. “Now will you help me?”

“Fine,” said Sev, putting down his book. “What do you want me to do?”

She passed him a cup of tea, and looked at him expectantly until he had drunk it. Lily upended the tea cup and, tucking her hair behind her ears, peered closely at the soggy mulch.

“You will… um, suffer a great betrayal? No… pledge allegiance to a lizard. Or marry a potato,” she said. She pushed the saucer away in frustration. “It’s no good,” she said. “I give up.”

“As look as it’s a good-looking potato,” Sev said, returning to his book with a look of amusement.

“Oh, shut up,” said Lily.

***

Title: Logic and Reason
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): HP – Lily/James
Prompt: Denial

Obviously, he was really annoying. And if that was the case, then it logically followed that she didn’t want to spend any time with him at all. And if that was the case, then it was only reasonable to tell him that she didn’t want to see him again, thanks very much, and send him packing. She certainly wouldn’t wait near the window on the days she expected him to arrive, that stupid grin on his face and his poor attempts at an essay in hand. She definitely wouldn’t offer him tea. And there was no way she would even talk to him once they got back to school.

And so when the doorbell rang, there was no reason at all for her to jump. Nope, Lily thought. I am the master of cool logic and reason.

Her hand, however, apparently not heeding this, still flew to check her hair before she opened the door.

***

Title: Gifted
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): Fire and Hemlock – Polly and Fiona
Prompt: Book

“How do you always find exactly the right books for your essay?” complained Fiona.

Polly shrugged. “Dunno,” she said. “It just happens.”

“Anyone would think it was magic, or something,” said Fiona, running a hand through her hair as she squinted at the pile of books beside her. “I haven’t found a single useful one.”

“These two,” said Polly automatically. “And this one. And this one at the bottom.”

Fiona stared at her. “If you’re right, I will take over the cooking for a week.”

“Deal,” said Polly, grinning.

“Whatever. I was tired of burnt food anyway,” said Fiona, picking up one of the books Polly had indicated and getting back to work.

***

Title: Pirates
Author: eponine254
Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): Original
Prompt: Pirates

“We’re not very good at this.”

“I know,” sighed Ben’s companion, stroking his attempt at a beard. “Maybe we should have gone for accounting after all.”

“Yeah, but then we’d have been accountants,” said Ben, pulling a face. “Now we’re pirates. How much cooler is that?”

“Stranded pirates,” Aaron said. “And we don’t even have any treasure.”

“We don’t have any treasure yet,” Ben pointed out.

“And I can’t grow a beard. And you faint at the sight of blood.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Well, maybe sometimes,” said Ben. “But at least we’ve got the hats. And it sure beats sitting at a desk all day.”

Aaron looked around at the island. With its white sand, and palm trees waving in the breeze, it was actually rather nice.

“Fine,” he said. “But just so we’re clear, when we run out of food, I get to kill and eat you.”

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Lovely!! I especially like the Neville/Luna ones <3

And the one where Ron and Hermione decide they won't suit.... XD;

Fantastic job!!! <3

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